In a quest for ever more complex or clever swearing, we have neglected the pure and powerful simplicity of ‘Fuck off!’

I was in a charming Georgian town recently when this happened; Young man drops Snickers wrapper upon charming Georgian pavement. Old man in hat sees this.
‘Hey. You pick that up!’ says the old gentleman. The youth walks up to the oldster, causing him to recoil in fear.
‘Grandad, fuck off!’ says the young man. His head did a cool, aggressive nod on the word fuck, which improved it. And the sentence was finished in the classical way, with teeth clenched. The whole thing was sublime – pure Tim Roth out of Made In England.

So pick someone you don’t know well and tell them to fuck off today. Maybe it’ll get us our empire back.