English weather is not existing. Fact. Having rain all the time does not define a "weather", it only defines a "condition". Only if the "condition" changes you could talk about a "behaviour". And only if the "behaviour" happens more than once in 10 years (sunshine instead of rain) you can start thinking about heaving a "weather".
Therefore English weather is not existing.

But we do have goats and women. Sometimes it is quite difficult to recognize what is a goat and what is supposed to be a woman, but after a while you develop certain methods for final identification. As an example: If a goat responses immediatley with "YES!" on the question "Do you want my credit card for shopping?" you can be pretty sure you're talking to a woman.

On the other hand if you want to have sex and ask the woman politley about a hot night and the only response you get is the one about headache, you can be pretty sure your wife is a goat.

Science has even found a connection and solution between the English weather issue and the goat/women problem. In England there is nearly just rain. Rain does cause headache on certain creatures (we shall call them women here) and headache while the male part is demanding his portion of sex does cause a interruption in the harmony of males and females which leads to the phrase "My wife is a goat!". So therefore introducing proper weather in England, with sunshine, bit of snow, etc, would not cause headache. And without a headache women do like sex. And women who do like sex are liked by men as they do like sex too. Do you get the point?

Of course the whole scientific examination of this problem can be spoiled by one fact: If the women just CLAIM to have a bad time with headache. In this case they would be goats again.